hello from the other side

[i_jones]

They land in a tangle on the hard floor, Ianto holding Callie, the Doctor wrapped around them both. The air snaps, a lightning crack in reverse, as the tear in time and space closes behind them. Ianto had closed his eyes against what lay between worlds, but they open quickly when he feels a lick of fire spread through his veins, and he tightens his grip reflexively on Callie. The pain cools just as quickly as it burned, and he recognizes it, the mental brush of the TARDIS. Who should know better.

He extracts himself from Callie with a mumbled apology and rolls away onto his back, staring up at the dizzying lights and swirling Gallifreyan text above the time rotor. There's a odd weight settled into the dip of his collarbone, and he realizes what it is - the TARDIS key around his neck, cold and still and lifeless. Understanding begins to trickle inward. This is not his home.

Comments

[whofrownedthisface]

Well, maybe not literally, but it had to be Ianto's fault metaphorically somehow. Or, admittedly, he should have had up-to-date safeguards against guerilla advertising of this and all other calibers, and he will, at some point, when he's not busy. "Personal hell? Sounds festive. You shouldn't have touched it, they probably have your bank account now." Though joke's on them, Ianto's bank accounts, if any, are probably in an entirely different universe. And also maybe not tied to his bioprints, at this point in time. Still, it never hurts to be careful. There are a lot of scams out there designed to take advantage of the old and infirm. You know, the type of people who touch advertisements without thinking. If they get a call tomorrow saying that 'one of the household computers' is infected, he'll know who to blame.

Scam or not, the Doctor is already a little invested, looking for the source of the communication, verifying its existence as something besides a trap. Though, it would be a pretty poorly designed trap, at least if it's geared towards him. Even a tagline about its potential dangers doesn't make it much of a draw. Mostly what's curious about it is how it was targeted, though nothing says it even was. Though it is impressive how little they actually managed to get right, and the Doctor feels the need to correct them on a few of the finer points of the holiday. So maybe it would be a better trap than he'd initially calculated. "Looks like it's real enough. Maybe we should check it out. Make sure the elves are up to code." He could be joking. He probably isn't.

[i_jones]

Maybe an intrusive ad popped up while he was Space Googling himself, but he definitely X'd out of it, and also maybe the TARDIS should have AdBlock installed like every other machine in the universe. If the Torchwood Mainframe could withstand the assault of Owen's porn browsing habits, the TARDIS can surely survive a pop-up or two.

"I shudder to think," Ianto says, highly dubious, as he checks both the console and his hand to make sure there isn't some - he doesn't know - coupon code lasered onto his skin or something. Have humans even made it out this far? Surely they get loads of complaints about the accuracy. And the safety. "Has Callie ever... had Christmas? Is that a thing she does?" Does Ianto want her to start here?

[whofrownedthisface]

Right, yes, because Callie and her educational Christmas opportunity were entirely behind the Doctor's begrudging interest in this museum experience, absolutely. Try to keep up, Ianto. "It isn't, but it should be," is the Doctor's assessment. "It's anthropologically significant. And there's usually candy." What else, what else. That's probably enough. "The fact that it sounds bonkers is likely in our favour. There'll be loads of aliens, no one will bat an eye." Or any other alien sense organs. Probably there's aliens? But humans would be fine too. The Doctor is warming to the idea, and with good reason. What could be safer than Christmas? Disclaimers aside. Probably just like a roller coaster park. Though maybe they should have Ianto sign a waiver, just in case. "She's got a lot of Christmases to make up for." Maybe they'll do Christmas for a week. Maybe longer. It would strain his Christmas tolerance, but the sacrifice just makes it more meaningful. Isn't that what it's all about? "We can start there." So that's settled.

[starlightcalliope]

The kitchen Calliope ends up with is quite similar to one of the regular ones she has been using, and even in just about the same relative place, which is rather nice. Perhaps this TARDIS isn't so different from the one she'd gotten to know before, then. With practiced motions, she sets to putting the kettle on, collecting a tray with teacups and saucers, milk and ample sugar. Despite the Doctor's gentle admonishment, she finds herself too impatient to bother with her usual personal flourishes though. Ianto can have all the tea and time he requires, but he'll have to make do without biscuits or experimental additions to his tea. Even so, she does her best not to rush things; the Doctor had mentioned wanting to have a word with Ianto and she'd hate to barge in early.

It turns out she needn't worry about that, as the way back stretches on for quite a bit longer than she's expecting. But by the time she reaches the console room, the tea is still hot and her friends are still gathered 'round the console. She takes a bolstering breath, feeling awfully foolish for having acted so childishly, but there's nothing for it but to face her embarrassment. So she descends the stairs with her peace offering, approaching Ianto first. "Here you go, love," she says with a remorseful smile. "Take all the time you need. I was being terribly rude and I'm sorry." Perhaps she should have gone looking for some biscuits after all.